All Grown Up

Growing up, my parents provided a stable, loving home. I honestly can't remember ever seeing them fight in front of my sisters and me. My sisters and I, however, always fought in front of them! The exception was, of course, when we were at Disney World. Because really - when you're dressed like Michael Jackson in the happiest place on Earth, it's tough to find things to gripe about.

We never moved houses. My parents still live in the house we grew up in; the yard is the same (although greener - kudos to my dad for figuring out how to grow grass in the shade), the neighbors are the same (seriously wonderful people) and the street is still quiet (I think there was a record of 11 trick-or-treaters a couple years ago, because all the kids who grew up there brought their kids back for Halloween).

The only thing that ever changed was when my parents decided to send us to a different school, because the education was far superior to our hometown. We drove 30 minutes, to and from, every day. We had to play a sport every season, to fill up our afternoons so pickup time would work with my parents' work schedules.

I think that was pretty brave of my parents. It's a huge thing to move 3 children into a new school system, far away from anything any of them knew. But had they NOT done it, I most certainly would not be where I am today. That school we went to - those teachers - made me work my tail off. They could, because classes were so small. All my teachers (with the exception of Mr. Fitz, who had a sleeping disorder) knew where I was, what I was doing, and how I could do better. In my hometown, the teachers had too many kids in their classrooms to keep track of, well, anything.

I hated it at the time, but I'm so grateful for it now.

However, I adapted. I made it work, I got through it, and then I went to college...and hated being away from home. Which is weird, because all I wanted to do was get out when I was there. So, I transferred back to a local university so I could commute and return to the comfortable routine that was my childhood.

Going back to the routine was, interestingly, where my life started to change.

I met Sean there, at that university. In fact, I knew I was going to marry him the moment he turned around in class and said, "No, you're wrong." (I've since trained him to know better than that.) I was in love at 18, before I even knew his name.

Sappy, but true.

And so, after 4 years of dating, we were engaged and then married. During college, Sean encouraged me to join a sorority - which I really wanted to do, but was worried about. Sean went overseas to study abroad, and his love of travel seemed to ignite. That same year, I traveled to Ireland and England with some sorority sisters and my love of travel (and Ireland!) also ignited.

I'm pretty sure I never would've gone to Ireland or England had I not joined that sorority, which I would not have done were it not for Sean's encouragement and support. That's how we roll - support, no matter what. That's part of being in a great family.

My family is pretty awesome. We have our quirks - but you're not allowed to point them out to me unless you're blood. And we fight - but again, you're not allowed to comment on it unless you're blood. It's just the way it is.

Now that I have my own kids, I look back at my childhood and my family. It was probably the best childhood one could ask for - two loving parents, two sisters, always a dog (had to be a male dog, I think my dad made that rule) and sometimes a bird for good measure. Summer bike rides, playing with neighborhood kids, snowmen, and, above all, a feeling of safety and love.

Funny - when I think of my childhood, that's what I remember. Not the house.

That's important because, married to Sean, we'll always move around. Our children will always move around, until they move out on their own and make their own life choices.

I struggled with this career change for Sean - I thought we had settled into a "secure" and "stable" life here in Mass, close to family and friends. The support system is unbeatable. And he wanted to change all that...again. When we married, I promised to support him in whatever he wanted to do, and I honor my promises, no matter how difficult - which made this move all the tougher.

However, as we get closer to the actual move, I realize that it isn't all that bad. My kids will see different cultures, and they'll be better for it. They'll learn tolerance by doing, not just being told. But - most importantly - they'll still have the "stable" and "secure" childhood that I had. My family taught me the biggest lesson of all. I know how to make my children feel safe and loved, and I know how to maintain close family bonds, no matter the distance. It's now my turn to be brave.

I think most of us can agree that being all grown up isn't what we make it out to be in our heads. But, as parents, it's our job to ensure our kids don't find out the hardships of life too soon. So, no matter where we are, my kids will have a great childhood. And because of the way I was raised, and how close I am with my mom, dad, and sisters, my kids will have that same sense of family that I have - their cousins will be their siblings, their aunts will be their second moms. And when they look back at their childhoods, I want them to feel the exact same way I feel about mine. (Well, minus the Michael Jackson jackets. Those are STRICTLY for the Miller girls.)